The Mole

In a short span of eight years, the little mole on the right side of my cheek had begun to speak German with a flawless accent. Three years back it had begun to sprout dense hair around it, sing Frank Sinatra songs to delighted family gatherings at Christmas and expound in great detail the pitfalls of communism. But I thought it was surely pushing it a bit when it fell in love with my earlobe. When it called my grandmother an octogenarian camel, I held my tongue and suffered the gaze of her watery eyes brimming with hurt. When it demanded to convert to Buddhism, I patiently waited for the phase to pass. When it fell in love with my earlobe, I zipped my conscience up in an airtight plastic bag and picked up the flame thrower.

We Men and Women

“We need water. Or maybe somebody’s daughter.” said General Specific.

There lies the solution to all our water woes. If you observe carefully then you’ll realize that the water problems all started as the sex ratio started dipping. In the developing countries where there are severe water supply problems, the sex ratios are far lower than what they are in the developed nations. Rain water harvesting and fighting over rivers will only get one so far. The population is growing but the water isn’t. On the other hand, daughters are renewable resources and their regeneration is ideally proportional to the population. This could be a very effective way to alleviate the water problems.

I Got Religion

A friend once took me to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (and their page stats seem to tell me that I'm one of the only chaps in India who has entered it apart from the friend who took me). It's a lot of bull like all other religions but it has a point. On top of that he's a convenient god to believe in and worship and also has an International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Beat that Jesus.